It’s easy to wish that confidence was something so tangible that you could just go to the shops and purchase some of it off the shelf. But if you have ever wondered why some people just have it while other people don’t, you're certainly not alone.

One reason people lack confidence is because they wrongly assume that other people have superior skills, experience and abilities, and they underestimate your own. This Self-Deception can be brutal in attacking your self-esteem and confidence.

How often do you find yourself feeling this way?

Even when there's no reason to believe so, the assumption that other people have superior skills, experience or abilities is a major reason for a lack of confidence. What's worse is there's a doubling-down on the problem when you automatically look for signals in others that re-affirm the original self-deception. This Negative Re-affirmation entrenches an ongoing belief system that can make you feel less confident.

Do you often assume that people are thinking negative thoughts about you?

A third reason for lacking confidence can be Selflessness, when you don't focus enough on your own development. In our busy society where there are so many pulls on our time, it’s easy to take yourself for granted and put everyone else first. This often means you don’t make use of and, critically, don't recognise your own talents.

How often do you truly put yourself first?

When you look at the three main reasons people lack confidence, it’s clear that the answers lie in changing those personal belief systems that have taken hold over a period of time. In order to do so, you have to focus on creating a more balanced set of viewpoints. The trick is to identify, refine and leverage your existing talents and personal experiences (which become your own unique ‘confidence building blocks’) and use them to create a more positive belief system.

As an impartial and unbiased supporter and guide, I help people all over the world develop real-world techniques to increase confidence. As a qualified NLP Practitioner and Life Coach, I am trained to ask questions that help you develop your own, personal Confidence Building Blocks that allow you to fully leverage your talents and experiences. The focus is always on:

- Developing a confidence mindset
- Building your mental strength
- Improving your ability to cope in challenging situations
- Creating levels of acceptance and self-respect
- Adopting helpful habits
- Improving your ability to communicate effectively and assertively

Use the ratings below to capture a snapshot of your current Confidence Mindset. 1 star would suggest low confidence in your knowledge or capabilities in the relevant topic area while 10 stars would show a high confidence.

MENTAL STRENGTH

I have the mental strength to cope with anything life throws at me

CONFIDENCE BUILDING BLOCKS

I understand what gets in the way of building genuine, sustainable confidence.

Use the ratings below to capture a snapshot of how you feel about Coping in Challenging Situations. 1 star would suggest low confidence in your knowledge or capabilities in the relevant topic area while 10 stars would show a high confidence.

ADAPTING AND COPING

I know how to adapt and cope in all kinds of new and challenging situations

OPERATING WITH THE RIGHT INTENT

I know how to convert negative, limiting beliefs into positive thoughts and actions.

ENJOYING INNER PEACE

I am able to easily forgive myself and other people when things don't go to plan

Use the stars below to rate your personal levels of Acceptance and Self-Respect. 1 star would suggest low confidence in your knowledge or capabilities in the relevant topic area while 10 stars would show a high confidence.

SELF-RESPECT

I am comfortable with who I am and I have my full self-respect and acceptance

NEGATIVE CHATTER

I am aware of my own personal inner-critic and know how to silence it completely

Use the stars below to rate your current confidence levels for the creation and adoption of Good Habits. 1 star would suggest low confidence in your knowledge or capabilities in the relevant topic area while 10 stars would show a high confidence.

HABIT CREATION

I know and understand what the right habits are for building confidence.

HABIT ADOPTION

I know exactly how to adopt new habits so that they become part of my daily routine

Use the stars below to rate your specific Communication abilities. 1 star suggests low confidence while 10 stars shows you're already nailing it.

INTENSITY AND CONNECTIVITY

I know exactly how to manage my nervous system so I can always respond in a calm and confident manner.

ASSERTIVENESS

I have a skillset and natural confidence that allows me to always say YES when something is appropriate and NO when something isn't.